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CBS to Grammy Attendees: Cover Up!

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Larry Busacca, Getty Images

Those of you who’ll be tuning in to Sunday’s 2013 Grammy Awards expecting a wardrobe malfunction or two will be bitterly disappointed.

CBS Thursday issued a “wardrobe advisory” to representatives of Grammy attendees to make sure that ”buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered” during the broadcast. (So, manboobs are OK?)

CBS censors emphasized the breast area, saying that ”bare sides or under curvature” are especially “problematic.” They also warn about ”visible puffy bare skin exposure” around the “genital region.” (Translation: NO CAMELTOE!)

Here’s the complete memo:

CBS Program Practices advises that all talent appearing on camera please adhere to Network policy concerning wardrobe.

Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible “puffy” bare skin exposure.

Please avoid commercial identification of actual brand name products on T-shirts. Foreign language on wardrobe will need to be cleared. OBSCENITY OR PARTIALLY SEEN OBSCENITY ON WARDROBE IS UNACCEPTABLE FOR BROADCAST. This as well, pertains to audience members that appear on camera. Finally, The Network requests that any organized cause visibly spelled out on talent’s wardrobe be avoided. This would include lapel pins or any other form of accessory.

The Grammys airs this Sunday on CBS (KSLA-TV). Fortunately, there’s no dress code for home viewing, so go crazy!

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