Facebook Took The Fun Out Of Cyberstalking

My brother has this magnet that says "Don't drink and MySpace." There was a time when that was true....cyberstalking on MySpace was as dangerous as drunk dialing. It wasn't as easy to find people as it is on Facebook. I mean, no one used their entire name. In fact, most of the time, you could find people under fake names or nicknames. Oh the times I busted a guy or two trying to holla' at me, all the while, listing they were in a relationship and their #1 friend being someone they claimed to be their sister. No, dude, sorry, I don't believe you took yourself off the market just in case I decided to take you seriously. Anyway...

My proudest moment of my MySpace stalker days was when I started a new job and this MEGA hot guy from Florida was our trainer. He had a very unusual name and ALL of the girls LOVED going to work to to watch him breathe. He was THAT hot. Every night, we'd check MySpace to see if we could find him....every day coming back disappointed and confused at how he stayed hidden. Seriously? How do you stay hidden from 4 different eager chicks trying to hunt a hot guy down? That can't even happen now!

I don't even remember how, but I found him...under a completely different name. Somehow, probably searching for all the guys under a certain age group, with every possible combination you could come up with...and after searching hundreds of results, I'm sure. But triumphantly, I found him and all the girls at work knew that not only did our hot little trainer have an alias of Joey, but he ALSO couldn't hide. Ok... so maybe that's not something I should be proud of. And maybe I should have reconsidered publicly proclaiming my former life as a cyber-stalker, but we all have secretly done it. It's not even hard to stalk now. Every time I log into facebook, it tries to suggest me add about 4 of my ex's AND their girlfriends.

Dear Facebook,

If I still wanted to be friends with (insert DB's name here), you wouldn't have to suggest it. Kthx.

Loves-Loves,
Ally

(Not trying to make light of those who have actually been cyberstalked. I am one of them, so you can't get offended.)