This information is purely academic, and in no way an endorsement of making illegal substances.  That being said, if someone was to make some closet hooch - here's how they could do it quickly.

I remember stumbling into my dad's closet as a child and seeing a curious sight.  A huge Carlo Rossi wine bottle with a balloon firmly attached to the top and what looked like bubbly grape juice inside.  Now that I'm older, I know that pops was more Uncle Jesse, and less Dr. Frankenstein - it wasn't some strange science experiment per se, he was making muscadine wine.  As it turns out, it was not only one of his favorite hobbies, it was a longstanding family tradition!

With my family legacy on the line, I started looking for recipes and instructions (just to study and not practice the craft, mind you).  And by far, the most intriguing way to get homemade wine quickly is by using an Instant Pot.  The smart, counter top pressure cooker can create a pretty unique environment that speeds up a usually lengthy process.  David Murphy at Foodnservice.com gets all of the credit for this little wine hack, and if someone was to follow these instructions - they should probably name their first batch of loud-mouth soup after the man.

In addition to the Instant Pot (with the yogurt function), that person would need: A 64oz bottle of Grape Juice,1 cup of sugar,and 1 packet of Red or White Wine Yeast.  They will also need to find a food-grade funnel (new, not from the garage), some clear packing tape, and patience.  The Instant Pot does speed up the process, but the person that chooses to follow these instructions be warned - it can still take anywhere from 8 days to a month using this method to get quality vino.  If someone wanted to see the process taken step by step, they could click here to see some who is not me walk them through the process.