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Lindsay Lohan Takes a Pregnant Pause in Brazil While Her Legal Team Sorts Out Her Rehab Sitch

Lindsay Lohan
Pacific Coast News

Lindsay Lohan is continuing the South American jaunt of her Hot Mess Tour, much to the chagrin of everyone who has to deal with her — including her lawyers, her management and everyone else with enough brain cells to realize that partying probably isn’t the best idea for her right now.

Or ever.

Lohan was slated to hop on a flight back to New York City from Sao Paulo last night, but decided against it. Sources told E! Online that she wanted to stick around and “have fun,” which, for Lilo, usually involves pounding back vodka.

“She’s staying against everyone’s advice,” a source said, adding that she’s now there on her own dime since her manager left the country without her.

However, TMZ reported (then deleted) a story saying there may be another reason Lohan’s staying behind: The plane on which she was slated to fly back to the States had to make an emergency landing due to “toxic odors” emitting from the bathroom.

First a gas leak, now … another kind of gas leak. It all makes no difference considering she was never on the plane in the first place.

As for what’s in store when Lohan gets back? There will be rehab, if only post-Coachella, and apparently that rehab won’t allow Adderall. Maybe.

Lohan’s attorney, Mark Heller, in a rare moment of competence, explained that there’s no rehab rider.

“That was never a part of any discussion with the prosecutors or the court. That was never an issue we addressed,” Heller told The New York Daily News of the alleged Adderall demand. “[Allowed medications are] never dictated by the patient. [They're] always determined by medical staff who are well qualified.”

As for the imaginary lockdown rehab facility she’s going to? Well, there still aren’t any in New York, but sources told Radar Online that Heller provided a list of potential candidates to prosecutors.

“The prosecutor will personally be calling the facilities to make sure that there is proper security, meaning someone that monitors the whereabouts at all times of the patients,” the source said. “The facility that ends up taking Lindsay needs to notify the Court immediately if she leaves the premises, or breaks any rules. The rehab will be fully vetted and researched by [prosecutor Terry] White.”

“If Lindsay leaves early or messes up, she will go straight to jail, no questions asked.”

But hey, here’s hoping wherever she ends up permits prenatal vitamins. The starlet, in the single most unoriginal April Fool’s Day prank ever — and by “prank” we also mean “potential sympathy plea” — used Twitter to announce she was expecting (she’s not).

https://twitter.com/lindsaylohan/status/318959776069480448

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