Born March 3rd and raised in the wilds of Shreveport, LA. Stifler grew up wanting to be heard. As a small child he would talk REALLY loud to get people to look at him. This lead to many problems in schooling. This small child with a big voice was the bane of teachers, counselors, and principals from the Red River to the the Texas State Line.
Known at a young age as Little Stiff, he soon grew up to become a terrible driver, man of mystery and a lover of cheese pizza. And so his life went until the day came where he talked into a microphone for the first time. No more did he have to yell for attention. No more did he have to stomp with his feet. NO MORE WOULD HE GO UNHEARD!
He found his calling. His purpose in life! To talk on the radio! Literally 100s of people hear him every single day. HUNDREDS!
Drunk with power, he moved from plain pizza to the more hard core stuff, Pizza Rolls. And he hasn’t looked back since.
What lesson can we learn from Stifler? Ignore a small child, he’ll just find a big microphone and the frozen food section of a grocery store.