dumb celebrity quotes

This singer has a fear of casting ballots for the POTUS, but it's cool because he votes for imaginary things too. As he claimed, "I've voted for lots of things besides the President - lots of things that have changed childrens' lives and the planet's life."

This heavily eye-lined young singer likes her musical genres to have very strict boundaries. As she griped, "People think pop is rock, and the lines are getting blurred ... Now Rihanna is wearing f---ing leather jackets, and it's really annoying."

This actor is so ready for the zombie apocalypse that he once assumed it was already here. As he explained, "With my daughter at the airport I was startled by a paparazzo, who I quite understandably mistook for a zombie."

Psh, that Van Gogh guy is the Nic Cage of painting. This comedian once said, "I don't care if people think I am an overactor ... People who think that would call Van Gogh an overpainter."

This singer and actress thinks you should do as she says, not as she does. Despite believing it's wrong, she perpetually ponders, "Why did God give me my talent, my gift, my family? ... I know you're not supposed to question God."

Apparently "success" and "wastefulness" are synonyms to this singer, who once said, "Success to me is having ten honeydew melons and eating only the top half of each slice."

This Oscar-winning actor might as well have invented the hashtag #firstworldproblems. Especially with this tale of woe: "I had homosexual goats. It's best when you have goats that are that gay to just let them be free."

Ladies and gentleman, remember this former VP of the United States? He once puzzled, "I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people."

Swords don't kill people ... at least, not accidentally. This nerdy child actor once postulated, "I think there were a lot fewer random deaths with swords. I could be wrong. I have no idea."

Once upon a time, this actress walked with dinosaurs. Real dinosaurs. Way back when, she said, "You can hardly tell where the computer models finish and the real dinosaurs begin."

We've gotta start going to church with this guy. As he explained, "I think God is a giant vibrator in the sky... A pulsating force of incredible energy."