Everybody knows when they are giving out the good stuff on Halloween.  You run dry early (except for the secret stash), and it's lights out!  You step on to your porch and yell "Goodnight Shreveport / Bossier City" like it's a sold out concert, and crawl into the nest you've created on the couch and watch scary movies with your sweetie.

It's not so easy to tell if you're giving out the bad stuff.  The "Trick" and not the "Treat" if you get what I'm saying.  Maybe the kids didn't come by your house because it wasn't decorated enough.  Or maybe your neighborhood isn't one of the hot-spot candy havens you thought it was.  Let's face it, unless your bowl looks like this:

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Fox
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You got the wrong stuff.

Have no fear, I'm here to keep your house from getting egged!  Stay away from the top 3 terrible Halloween candies and you should survive.

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3.  Gum - A little gum goes a long way.  Even if you love the stuff, you've got to admit wayyyyy to much goes out on Halloween.  It's almost like a 1 to 20 ratio of good stuff to gum!  Get this out of your bowl unless it's balanced with a bunch of chocolate peanut butter cups.

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AbleStock.com
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2.   All of this stuff - Seriously, look a this selection.  I know you see the candy canes from Christmas, that's how much these people care about your Halloween happiness they are giving you left-over yule-tide candy.  You are one step away from getting a subscription to Taxidermy Monthly, because that's what the kid who shows up after this cornucopia of sad candy runs out is gonna get.  If this looks like your candy bowl, please return it to the doctor's office you stole it from and don't give out candy on the 31st.

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Candy Warehouse.com
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1.  Candy Corn - This stuff is more of a symbol of Halloween than it is edible or safe for consumption.  It should be on the official flag we make people fly on Halloween in the future so that we may be able to readily identify those giving away the best candy.  We'll call it the "Irony Flag of Halloween Candy Goodness."  Seriously, this stuff looks great at first and there's tons of it!  You could be fooled into thinking you've hit the jackpot!  You would be wrong!  It does make a great decoration, and ammunition for my modified potato gun.  I call it the candy-corn-cannon.

Do us all a favor, if you have these items on hand to pass out on Halloween mix in a little snickers/twix/m&m goodness to keep the little ghouls and goblins satisfied.

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