Court of Madhouse: Should He Ask for Permission?
This week on the Court of Madhouse, we had quite the difficult question to answer. A caller (who asked to remain nameless) was struggling with her soon-to-be fiance's request to ask her father for permission to marry her. Being an independent, 2018 woman - she thought this was outdated and didn't want to be bound by or involved in anything as outdated and "patriarchal," as asking for her dad's approval for her hand in marriage.
As usual we were divided, but not in a way that you would expect. Carter (representative for the Defense), who has a 2 year old daughter, is adamantly against the entire concept. In his words, "If a guy asks me for my daughter's hand in marriage, I will say no. It's not my hand to give." Ginger (representative for the prosecution), contends that even though it is 2018 and no woman needs permission to marry who she wants, respecting the prospective husband-to-be's desire to ask is respecting her future husband.
Several callers weighed in, and it seemed that we were split. Thankfully, the Court of Madhouse is all about getting to a final decision. It is the opinion of this court that the prosecution is on the side of respect. Respect, in this case, is the cornerstone of this (and any) relationship. If there is any resistance to respecting each other's needs at this point, perhaps moving to the next step (marriage) should be carefully reconsidered. This represents what could be a fatal flaw for this couple's future relationship, what kind of backlash is waiting for this man the next time he feels the need to do what he was raised to do? Be it with children, finances, or whatever - he may be in for battle after battle if she is looking to buck tradition.