How Many Pillows Does Average Shreveporter Have in Bed?

Often in my life, people have asked, "Is that the hill you want to die on?" Finally, I can answer YES to that question.

This is absolutely the hill that I'm willing to die on.  Last night, I shared details about my new bedding purchase to social media. During my rant, I complained about two things, both equally ridiculous in my mind. This rant started when I unpackaged my bedding and realized again how much I had paid for it. I mean, that's what I get for going to Target to buy cat food. Anyways, I was complaining because several items came in my bedding package that no doubt drove up the price, and I will never use them.

Of course, number one is the silly top-sheet. If you're a top-sheeter, move aside. I'm not trying to have this argument with you tonight, but you know in you're heart that it's entirely too damn hot in Louisiana to sleep with a top-sheet.

Number two, however, is the topic of my opinion piece. Inside my incredibly overpriced bedding package was three hideous decorative pillows.

Sorry, I threw up in my mouth just now at the thought of those things.

So that got me pretty fired up last night and my anger has carried over into today. I cannot, for the life of me, understand why anyone possibly needs or wants more than 4 pillows on their bed. Heck I can make a case that even 4 pillows is too many, but for the sake of my sanity, I'll allow 4 for the time being. Anyone who has more pillows than 4 should be booked into an insane asylum by the end of the week. No 4th of July for you and you're 12 pillows.

I mean, these little decorative pillows literally serve no purpose. Standard pillows who do all the dirty work laugh in the face of random decorative pillows that usually barely match anyways.

I will end by saying this to those who currently have more than 4 pillows on their bed: You know what you're doing is wrong. It's inhuman. Please, for the love of God, get rid of those pointless pillows and start becoming a normal person again.