How To Handle All Of Your Friends Getting Married And Having Babies
Right now in my life, I am trying to figure the person that I am and what I want out of life. I am thinking about my professional future and my personal future, and what goals I want to achieve before I get settled into my life. At least that is what Chicken Soup For The Twenty Something's Soul has told me I should be doing.
While I am trying to do this, I see all of my friends storming through their twenties. I have had numerous of friends announce engagements, share wedding photos, and post videos from their gender reveal parties. I see this and can't help but judge myself. Why haven't I gotten married yet? Why haven't I started a family? Is there something wrong with me?
From what I understand, this is a normal thing for women my age to do. We constantly compare our lives with the people around us. Sometimes this could have an unwanted effect on our self worth.
"I continued to feel like something was wrong with me, that I was a freak. That my world had moved on without me and I was going to be left behind." -Stacey Goldstein from Psych Central
I get what Stacey is saying. That is exactly how I feel when I scroll through my news feed and I see the posts and photos of friends getting married and having kids.
Huffington Post's Tips On Surviving This Situation
- Flip Your Thoughts
- Instead of thinkig about yourself when you see this in your news feed, be happy for that person. Congratulate them! Force the focus into happiness for your freind.
- Say NO
- "Striking a balance between honoring your own emotions and being a supportive friend isn’t impossible, nor selfish. If the thought of going wedding dress shopping with the bride for the tenth time makes you want to cry, sit this trip out and go do something for yourself! Just make sure you’re there for the really important moments, and never punish your friends for being in a different life stage than you are." -Liz Marle of Huffington Post
- Communicate
- If you choose to communicate your distress to your friends be cautious. No one likes a debbie downer. And lets be honest, it is their day. Let them have that.
I have been thinking a lot about this, and my best advice is to be happy for your friends and try your best not to compare your life to someone else. You have your own thing going on, and that's totally fine. Your focus may not be the same as the friend who is getting engaged or having a baby, but you're still awesome.