Ever since I teamed up with DigitalMunchies and wrecked my Tinder account for a video, it's been downhill. Here's what I believe are the problems.

Single life for a Shreveport is a weird one, to say the very least. I am relatively new to this whole "single thing", but it didn't take me long to realize that the dating scene in Shreveport is a strange one. Here, everyone knows everyone and if you wanna meet someone new, you can try your luck going out on the weekends or partaking in dating apps like Bumble and Tinder.

Lately, my Tinder account has been a complete waste of time, so today I've decided to try and figure out why that is.

Below are my top five reasons I'm not getting any swipes on Tinder.

 

 

  • 1

    Too Handsome and Charming

    This is the obvious answer so let's get it out of the way first. Let's face it, I'm devilishly handsome and quite the charmer and clearly a lot of ladies in this town aren't ready for something so immaculately perfect. I'm clearly very humble too.

  • 2

    Fedoraphobia

    It's true, not many girls are used to seeing a hat like mine wielded with so much confidence and regularity. What I created as a branded look twelve years ago is finally coming back to bite me in the you-know-what.

  • 3

    The Whole Fame Thing

    Look, I'll put it bluntly... I'm kind of a big deal. I have quite a few free car wash coupons laying around and I'm pretty much a shoe-in to receive complimentary nose-bleed seats to pretty much 50% of the concerts that come to town. This type of intense fame comes with a price.

  • 4

    My Bowling Scores are Too High

    Think about it... Bowling is an intimating, manly sport. It's a sport to exclusive that only a select few of normal adults dedicate one day a week to perfecting the craft. Not many girls are ready for such a manly man.

  • 5

    This Video

    The bottom line is that my Tinder life was going great until those goons at DigitalMunchies absolutely dropped a nuke on my account this past February. If you haven't seen the full Tinder-destruction video, you can check it out below!