K945’s $10,000 Contest in 10,000 Words
This week, K945 launched a huge contest where our listeners have a chance to win $10,000. How big is this contest? Well, to fully explain it's awesomeness, I'll have to use 10,000 words.
My friends, this is no small undertaking. Typically the articles you read on the internet sit somewhere between 250-500 words. Even those that sit around the 500-word mark take a lot of time and energy to create. So why am I sitting here in this cold, empty studio with a plan to write 10,000 words inside this very article? I mean, after all, that's an absolutely insane adventure that I'm not even sure I can complete.
Is it because I'm highly motivated to do something that's never been done on this website? Maybe.
Is it because I like to push myself on a daily basis to provide the absolute best content for you both on the air and online? Sure, that probably has something to do with it.
Is it because I drank not one but three 16 ounce Redbulls within the last 4 hours? Actually, that could be it.
No, no, no, I know exactly what it is. It's the fact that this contest is just that big of a deal. No puny average article written in 300 or 400 words could properly give this contest the attention and praise it deserves.
This is no average contest, my friends, it's our K945 Spring Ca-Ching Cash Code Contest. This contest deserves my biggest write-up ever, and that's exactly what I'm about to give it. To make sure I can get the job done, I've cancelled all of my night's plans. I called off poker night. I found a babysitter. Hell, I even cancelled my Peacock subscription so I won't get tempted to put down my laptop and turn on The Office. That's how motivated I am to get to 10,000 words, the only appropriate amount of words to accurately describe the K945 Spring Ca-Ching Cash Code Contest.
I know what you're asking. You're sitting there reading this with a smirk asking yourself not one but two questions. The first is, "Is this guy really serious?" The second is, "So what's so special about the K945 Spring Ca-Ching Cash Code Contest?".
The answer to your first question is a very simple and emphatic, "Yes, I'm absolutely serious." I hope you read that in my serious tone, which I rarely deploy on the radio but when I do, you know things are, well, serious.
The answer to you're second question might take a little more time, in fact, it might take me about, oh I don't know, 9,577 more words to fully get the point across. Before I embark on this journey of 10,000 words to tell you what is exactly so special about the K945 Spring Ca-Ching Cash Code Contest, there's one thing I need to do. I need to call Greer the Engineer and make sure our website can handle this type of workload. I mean, I don't want to get 5,000 words deep just to find out I overloaded the system and our website will never function properly again. Hang on for just one second, he should answer my call right away.
He didn't answer, go figure. I left him a strongly-worded voicemail that should get his attention. In the meantime, let me tell you about the days and months leading into the launch of the K945 Spring Ca-Ching Cash Code Contest.
We knew this one-of-a-kind contest was coming to our listeners soon, but it was important to us to keep it a surprise for as long as we could. After all, it's basically a $10,000 gift to our listeners for being so loyal to us over the past two decades. Not only did we want to find a way to reward all of you for being our faithful listeners throughout the years, but we also know that the pandemic has been hard on everyone. Of course, the government stepped in when it could and handed out a couple of little stimulus packages, but we know that you want and deserve more. Finally, the timing was right, and today we officially launched our $10,000 K945 Spring Ca-Ching Cash Code Contest.
Perfect timing as we cross the 700-word mark. Greer the Engineer finally called me back and he wasn't too pleased about me calling his house phone at 10:30 PM. He said something about, "you woke up the kids," and "my wife had literally just fallen asleep," and "you better not show your face at the studio tomorrow," but hey, he's the one with a home phone in 2021 so I can't take the blame here. Get with the times Greer and invest in a cell phone.
Finally. when he was done throwing his hissy fit about his overly-loud home phone waking up his entire family, he gave me the run down on how many words I can actually fit into this article. I have bad news and I have good news.
The bad news is that there is actually a limit as to how many words I can write before the website collapses in on itself. The good news is that the maximum number of words I can write on this article is 1,000,000 words, and we'll have to give away $1 Million for me to even consider coming close to that threshold.
No, I think 10,000 words is just right, the only issue I'm having is that I'll have to find a way to condense my thoughts and my explanation of this historic contest just to get it all to fit under the 10,000 word parameter. I could easily just take the easy way out and begin typing random, nonsensical words in no particular order until I got to 10,000, but there's no way I'm doing that. I'm not even tired, my fingers feel stronger than ever, and I'm thinking about cracking open Redbull number four. I'm giving you 10,000 words of pure art and pure passion. I'm going all of for you tonight, because you deserve this article, and so does the K945 Spring Ca-Ching Cash Code Contest.
If you're keeping count at home, it's time for a mini-celebration my friends, because we just hit the 1,000-word benchmark. I've written articles for K945.com since I can remember, and I've never even came close to the 1,000 word mark. Now it's time to that again nine more times.
Trust me, I'm not even nervous. I always say that you can write for as long as you can stay awake as long as you believe in the subject matter. My friends, I believe in the K945 Spring Ca-Ching Cash Code Contest. More importantly, I believe in you. I believe that the world has dealt us all a less-than-stellar hand with the pandemic, and I believe that you all deserve the chance and opportunity to win some serious money. That's why I'm so excited for this contest. I'm excited to hear from the many winners that will get that call in the very near future. I'm excited to hear about how this money may help you and your family. This is literally the most important thing to any radio DJ or content creator worth his/her salt. It's the listener, the audience, the reader and our relationship together. It's the real and true connection with an audience through mediums like on-the-air radio, social media, and websites that can absolutely not be recreated in any other situation. That's what this is all about. It's about truly getting to know an audience through the years and them getting to know you. There's nothing more magical than that, and that's just one reason I'm so excited to talk with you about the K945 Spring Ca-Ching Cash Code Contest.
Right now, I want you to complete a little visualization exercise with me. I would like for you to close your eyes. Wait, no, that won't work....
I would like for you to continue reading this article, but at the same time, use that floating part of your brain that somehow can allow you to daydream about things while the rest of your brain is actually working on the important stuff. You know which apart of the brain I'm thinking of. According to Google, this part of your brain is the medial prefrontal cortex and the medial and lateral parietal cortex. Both are found in the upper-half of your brain. Use that part for this exercise so you can continue reading while we cross the historic 1,400-word benchmark.
I want you to imagine you have a pile of money in front of you. I'm talking about a nice juicy stack of money totaling up to $10,000. Look, I know you like cartoons and you're already daydreaming about hitting a backflip into a dive and majestically leaping into a literal pool of cash and coins. First off, every one knows if Scrooge McDuck actually tried that, he would break every bone in his body. Like, instantly. Seriously, the act of diving into actual cash and coins would hurt you beyond repair. So stop thinking about it, OK?? Secondly, I don't think you can dive into $10,000 of cold hard cash. I believe the crisp, brand new hundred dollar bills would fill up a decently-sized envelope to the point where you couldn't lick-it and stick-it, which is impressive in it's own right, but it won't fill up a swimming pool.
So let's make sure you're using your medial prefrontal cortex and the medial and lateral parietal cortex to establish a realistic and appealing image of $10,000 sitting in front of you. Now that we've gotten that out of the way, and you've got a nice pile of cash totaling up to $10,000 in front of you, what will you do next? Let's face it, you can do a lot with $10,000. Maybe you'll use that money to get out of debt, wouldn't that be nice in 2021? Maybe you're not in debt or maybe you laugh in the face of debt, and now it's time for you to have your fun. Maybe with the $10,000 and with the country opening back up, you'll buy a nice vacation. Maybe a trip to Disney World, just don't end up like this guy. Maybe you'll go up north and hit the slopes, Dumb and Dumber style. Hey, I respect it, everyone needs a vacation and that's never been more true than right now as we continue to try to move past this pandemic.
Maybe you're a family man/woman, and you'll use that $10,000 to get the kiddos something nice. If you have two daughters like me, it's scary to know just how quickly that $10,000 could be spent on two little girls using their adorable little cant-do-nothing-wrong puppy eyes. I could knock out that $10,000 during a 1-hour trip to Target, and with how expensive some of these toys are these days, I might could buy a handful of LOL Dolls and a couple of Barbie's.
In all seriousness, you get to use this $10,000 on whatever you want. No one will question you. Unless you buy a lifetime supply of Ramon Noodles. I mean, I love Ramen as much as the next single nearly-30-year-old, but spending 10 G's on Ramen would be just plain ridiculous. So spend it on literally anything else, OK?
So now, I'm sure you've had plenty of time to envision just how you and your family would use that $10,000. I'm sure your medial prefrontal cortex and the medial and lateral parietal cortex are practically in overdrive as you read these words but daydream about buying that classic 1984 Nissan 300zx Turbo Edition that you had to sell for next-to-nothing when you had your first kid 9 years ago. Just me? Who am I kidding? I can't win, so I need to find a way to shut off my medial prefrontal cortex and the medial and lateral parietal cortex or this article may get out of hand before I hit the 2,000 word milestone.
And if you're meticulously keeping count of my words to make sure I'm an honest man, you probably noticed that we just hit that sacred 2,000-word milestone.
2,000 words later and I honestly don't feel I've ever scratched the service on exactly how awesome our K945 Spring Ca-Ching Cash Code Contest really is. Luckily for you, I';ve already written the next 8,000 words in my head. Yea, that's how you use your medial prefrontal cortex and the medial and lateral parietal cortex to your advantage. Knowing what comes out of my brain and through my fingers over the next 8,000 words, I've got to say, you're in for a treat. I have complete confidence that by the time we get to 10,000 words, you'll fully understand just how awesome it is to have the K945 Spring Ca-Ching Cash Code Contest.
Maybe to help you understand why this contest is so important for you, it might help if I told you why it's so damn important to me. Also, I'm sorry for the language. It's late and I'm a few seltzers deep. I highly doubt that any kid who would be offended by reading the word, "damn" is still here, though. If you are, I commend you on your reading ability, now go to bed.
Like I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted by the sound of 10,000 kids whining because I wrote the word, "damn", maybe it's time that I give you a little backstory so you can comprehend why the K945 Spring Ca-Ching Cash Code Contest means so much to me.
Consider this your origin story for this sexy, funny, and humble host. Believe it or not, I haven't always been this sexy, funny, and humble, but I began to find myself on your radio a little over 13 years ago. I was in high school and didn't know a thing about radio, except that I would eventually get to host awesome contests and will definitely get to meet Taylor Swift one day. In actuality, I had been training for this career my whole life.
I remember when I first fell in love with radio and, of course, the art of the contest. I was six years old and my favorite radio DJ was Robert J Wright. The legend himself, who hosted mornings with Erin McCarty on, ironically, the Big Dog 94.5. My mom would drive me to school and I would study every inflection and speaking style that Robert J Wright would throw at me. He was a God, and at just six years old, I realized why he was so good. Because he cared about his listeners. You could hear that anytime he received a phone call, and trust me, there were many every single morning. The way he would speak to a listener and show a genuine feeling of appreciate through his words in just a short 20-30 second conversation. He genuinely wanted to know how their morning was going and what their weekend was shaping up to be. Those were just classic call-in conversations, a very typical part of the morning for Robert J Wright. Then, I remember like it was yester, he gave away concert tickets on the air. Sure, concert tickets aren't life-changing in the grand scheme of things, or maybe that's what someone might say on their high horse while not knowing a damn thing about music. To some, a concert is life-changing, especially when they win those free tickets with their favorite radio station. To hear not only the excitement of Robert J Wright as he gave the tickets away, but also the complete joyous roar that would come bellowing out from the listener's phone once they realized they were indeed the ninth caller, was a lifechanging experience for little Jay Whatley riding in the backseat of his mother's 1991 Chevrolet Lumina. In fact, that relationship with a radio DJ and his/her audience was so special to me, I wanted to get in on the action.
Of course, I was only six years old so no matter how much I wanted to be a radio DJ and throw awesome contests right then and there, it just wasn't possible... Right? If you said it'd be impossible for me to become a radio DJ by the age of six, you'd be dead wrong.
A few months later it was time to celebrate Christmas. I can just imagine what every other six-year-old's Christmas list included... Maybe a new bicycle. Could be a brand new Super Nintendo, one where they wouldn't have to blow into the game cassettes to get them to turn on. Maybe a new Ninja Turtles sword that not only looks badass, but can blow humungous bubbles out of the side as well. I'm not gonna lie, that Ninja Turtle sword was on my Christmas list that year.
However, it wasn't at the top. No, at the very top of my Christmas list sat a majestic piece of audio equipment. A piece of audio equipment so historic rare that it deserves a spot in the Smithsonian. At the top[ of my Christmas list you wouldn't find just any old toy or video game. At the very top, you'd see the Wild Planet Radio DJ Toy.
I know, you don't believe me. One of these days you'll learn to start believing your sexy, funny, humble host, because I'm being as truthful as I can be right now. This was, easily, the most exciting toy on the market. As of 2021, these things only exist on extremely dated, polaroid-taken photos on Google Images.
But in the 90's, if you had the intellectual power to want one, who could have gotten one. Definitely if it came in at number one on your Christmas list. I understand that the word "toy" is in it's name, but this thing only looked like a toy. Believe it or not, it had full functionally to put you literally on the radio. I'm not making any of this up, I can't stress that enough, this all actually happened and I can make a case that I've been on the radio in Shreveport-Bossier for 24 years, because I literally have been. My first day on the air was made possible by my incredible Christmas gift, the Wild Planet Radio DJ Toy.
Oh and by the way, we just crossed the 3,000-word benchmark, and it feels so good.
I remember the first time I plugged in that purple piece of plastic magic. I plugged in and turned on my Wild Planet Radio DJ Toy and intensely read through the instructions. I mean, I was about to go on the air for the very first time, you don't think I would go in underprepared, do you? I read those instructions from top-to-bottom, bottom-to-top, upside-down, down-side up, and hell, I even read it again the correct way because my eyes were hurting from all of the silly reading I was doing. You try being six years old and reading very simple instructions in multiple ways, it will jack you up, man.
Anyways, I was finally ready. My heart was literally pounding through my shirt. I'm not kidding. To make sure what I saw was real, I actually took my shirt off and could visible see my heart beating through my chest. I was simply that nervous. My career was about to begin, at six years old, and I knew once I got on that train it would be impossible to get off. Finally, I was ready, and I turned my microphone on. What came next was like something out of a dream. My room seemingly transformed into a state-of-the-art studio as I began hosting my very first radio show. I was in a flow like no other, in fact, I can't possibly recall exactly what was said and how it was spoken, it was just too supernatural and magical. Also, it was about 24 years ago, so give me a break.
Now, much earlier in this article, about 1,200 words ago to be exact, I wrote about two things that I loved about radio from a very early age. I loved the radio DJ and I loved his//her relationship with the listener. It's a magical connection that can only be made by doing what we do, and the best radio DJ's know this. Nothing matter, literally nothing, if you don't have a connection with your audience that goes both ways. So I'm sure you're asking yourself one question... "Who the heck was this six year old's audience while he broadcasted live on terrestrial radio using the Wild Planet Radio DJ Toy??"
I thought you'd never ask. No joke, the Wild Planet Radio DJ Toy really put you on terrestrial radio. Google it if you don't believe me. It would grab an unused, random frequency on AM radio, I believe, and it would shoot you to that frequency immediately using it's majestic fuzzy microphone. Of course, it should go without saying that this Wild Planet Radio DJ Toy did not possess the same level of power as the Hit Music Channel K945. No, it didn't have the same transmitting power as the fire-breathing 100,000-watt top-40 powerhouse that we all know and love.
It was humble beginnings for yours truly on my Wild Planet Radio DJ Toy.
The toy could put you on the radio on a random, unused frequency at a relatively small radius. How small you ask? For the sake of comparison, I'll say that K945 can be heard all around the Ark-La-Tex. Places like Tyler, Texas, Magnolia, Arkansas, Ruston, LA, and Natchitoches, LA.
The Wild Planet Radio DJ Toy had a listening radius of about 45-feet in any direction. So just a slightly smaller radius than a 100,000-watt powerhouse.
Despite the small radius, you better believe I had an audience. My older brother, who sat comfortably in the room next door. I ran to him quickly as I took my first commercial break to turn on the radio to like 789 AM right away. He did, and to his amazement there I was, broadcasting live on his radio in his room. That was my very first actual taste of that magic I wrote about earlier. The magic created only by radio, between a DJ and his/her audience. There's nothing like it, even if you're six years old broadcasting to a radius of 45 feet in any direction from your Wild Planet Radio DJ Toy.
That night, we experimented with the toy over and over and over again, eventually coming up with my very first contest. Unlike the K945 Spring Ca-Ching Cash Code Contest, I couldn't give my audience the chance to win that kind of money. After all, I was freakin' six years old and my only listener was 8 and he was my brother. I did, however, have one crisp $2 bill. In fact, I had ten of them, which I still have to this day. Well, I have nine now, but at that time I had ten. I decided right then and there that just having a connection and relationship with your audience is important, but sometimes you have to take things to the next level by rewarding their listenership. In this business, whether you're a nearly-30-year-old hosting a radio show on one of Louisiana's most-known radio stations, or you're a 6-year-old broadcasting on a Wild Planet Radio DJ To.... Contests are king and a money contest is the king of kings.
On my very first night on the air in my bedroom, I was ready to launch my very first contest for my loyal listener. I ran to my closet and pushed away my giant Hot Wheels roller coaster, I moved my Super Nintendo out of the way as well, and I gently relocating my precious Dallas Cowboys mini-helmet signed by the greatest running back of all-time, Emmitt Smith. Side note, I will fistfight anyone who argues with me over that last point. I believe in two things in this life, radio contests and Emmitt Smith.
I moved away all of those wonderful, nostalgic items in my closet out of the way to get to my secret safe. Inside that secret safe, I only kept ten items. Ten items that were the upmost important to me. My sweet, precious $2 dollar bills. All ten of them sat neatly at the bottom of my safe. I gave each one of them a tiny kiss on Thomas Jefferson's little head before attempting to find one I could part with. All ten were pristine and never bent. How would I ever find one that could go into someone else's loving arms? Well, I'm glad you asked. As I looked over all ten bills, I noticed one had a little bit of Cheeto dust on Thomas Jefferson's little head. I probably should have whipped my fingers and mouth off before kissing each individual bill. Luckily, the first bill served as an accidental napkin and therefore made my decision very easy.
For my very first on air contest, I was going to give away a rare, Cheeto dust-covered, $2 dollar bill. As I introduced the contest I could feel the energy in the room begin to swell. It was a sensational feeling, knowing that I had the power to absolutely make someone's day. I don't care if you're broadcasting to one person on a 45-feet radius on your Wild Planet Radio DJ Toy, or you're speaking to thousands of people on a 100,000-watt flamethrower, the ability to make someone's day is a feeling unlike any other.
So there I was... Sitting in my room with my screaming into my Wild Planet Radio DJ Toy like a mad man with a crisp $2 bill up for grabs if my brother could find a way to answer one simple trivia question. My brother wanted that $2 bill so bad he could taste it, and no, not because it was covered in Cheeto dust. I dramatically paused so the tension on the air could build, just as my hero Robert J Wright taught me on the Big Dog 94.5 all those years. I trained for this moment, I felt the magic for the very first time on the other end of the microphone. I was ready. My brother was ready. My mom called onto us from the kitchen and it was time for dinner. That's when I learned the art of the "find out after this" listener tease. That's right Ryan Seacrest, I had already mastered that tease long before you or your frosted tips arrived on stage at American Idol.
I loved Macaroni and Cheese, so when my mom called for dinner, I just couldn't wait. So I told my listener to meet me in the kitchen and we'll take a commercial break before finding out if he can win my precious $2 bill. While at the kitchen table, you could tell both of our minds were on one thing and one thing only. Much like how Ryan Seacrest would throw to commercial just before announcing that season's winner, leaving us viewers to sit and wonder and think about all of those previous performances while watching over-played Coca Cola polar bear commercials. That macaroni and Cheese was our Coca Cola polar bear commercials that night. Sure, the Easy Mac was good and right in front of us at that moment, but I wanted to be right back down in front of that microphone in my bedroom and my brother wanted to be sitting in his bed with his ears glued to the radio.
That, my friends, is the magic.
Once we scarfed down that Easy Mac in what had to be our quickest dinner ever, we both sprinted down the hall back to our rooms facing each other on opposite ends of the hall. I grabbed that microphone in a way that is only comparable to Thor wielding Mjölnir. Believe me, there was electricity in the air as my very first radio contest was about to unfold on the airwaves to a respectable radius of 45-feet. My brother began to get nervous, questioning if he had what it takes to crack my trivia question. I began to get nervous, realizing that I had been too caught up in the excitement of the moment and completely forgot to think of a trivia question. Quickly, I gazed around the room at all of my wonderful Christmas presents and boom, there it was.
I asked my brother if he was ready, and by this time he was actually getting pretty pissed off that I had taken so much time to give away one single $2 bill. In fact, I don't think he even wanted the bill anymore. That's when I learned another important radio contest rule, and that's GET TO THE POINT.
Anyways, I asked him his trivia question, after quite the dramatic delay. "What brand of plastic, orange sword also allows you to blow monstrous bubbles out of the sword's side?" I asked.
Quickly my brother excitedly shouted, "That's the Incredible Hulk Sword, you just opened it for Christmas a few hours ago!"
My heart sank. My very first on-air radio contest had fallen right on it's ace. Of course, my brother's answer was incorrect. Clearly confused by the green, my sword was actually the prestigious Ninja Turtles bubble sword. This is where I learned the most important rule of radio contest. Radio contests aren't just important for the radio DJ and the listener with a chance to win, they are also important for the other listeners who are taking in the action. No one, and I mean no one enjoys a radio contest where the contestant doesn't win. Winners are fun, and it's always important to get a winner. Look, I was six-years-old and I understood this literally the second that my first ever radio contest failed. So I quickly thought on my feet and announced to my brother that since it was Christmas, I would give him one more chance. At this point, my mom had wondered into his room to hear what all of the fuss was about. Finally, my second listener, my audience to the contest between myself and listener one. All of the components coming together beautifully. My mom might have helped him with the answer, because he quickly shouted, "Oh I know, it's the Ninja Turtles Sword!!"
Just like that ladies and gentlemen, my first radio contest was complete and a huge success. My brother was thrilled to have won one of my sacred $2 bills, I was thrilled to have given it to him, and my mother was thrilled to hear the contest unfold with a winner. It. Was. Magical.
Also, my mom was thrilled that my radio show had gone off the air after the contest because it was nearly 10:00 PM and we were making entirely too much noise.
That, my friends, was where my love for the radio contest truly began, and I'm glad to have shared that awesome night with you.
Also, I'm happy to announce that we are officially half-way there. If you're reading this sentence, that means you have somehow been entertained enough to read through over 5,150 words all properly explaining why the K945 Spring Ca-Ching Cash Code Contest is worthy of such a long novel. I'm not gonna lie, I'm impressed that you made it this far. When I had the idea of writing an article that literally had 10,000 words in it, I didn't think anyone would read more than the first two paragraphs.
Yet, here we are.
You, staring into the words as they paint beautiful images into your medial prefrontal cortex and the medial and lateral parietal cortex. Me, staring down at a keyboard while typing away, wondering if I have finally lost my grip on reality itself. No joke, I haven't looked up from this keyboard in three and half hours. I get it, you're impressed that I wrote half of a novel in just three and a half hours, but you have to understand my expectation going into this. I truthfully expected to be done and finished with this 10,000 word article in, oh I don't know, about 45 minutes or so. Boy, was I wrong.
Now I find myself in a strange position. I might actually be going crazy and the Redbull has completely worn off. Yet, I have a cool 4,650 words to go. Do I give up right now? Do I turn off my computer and finally go get my much-needed shut-eye? Do I let all of you down, or at least the 2 or 3 who managed to read this far. Hell no, I can't quit. Not until I give you the entertainment I promised you, and that's 10,000 words describing in vivid detail how the K945 Spring Ca-Ching Cash Code Contest is the most incredibly awesome contest of all-time. You have my word that I won't stop until that beautiful 10,000 quota is met. Also, Walgreens is now on Doordash and I just ordered two more Redbulls which should be arriving in fifteen minutes.
I like to think of the K945 Spring Ca-Ching Cash Code Contest as a reward to listeners who truly deserve it. After all, it is the most amazing contest of all time. However, since we're on the topic of deserving stuff, I think you deserve something yourself right here, right now.
Since you have decided to commit to going on this 10,000 word journey with me, no matter where it takes us, I've deciding I will reward you with a few of my deepest and darkest secrets. Secrets that I've never told a soul, because to be honest with you, I didn't feel like there was anyone out there who deserved to know these things about me. Then you came along and you have willingly read 5,580 words of my literature to get to this point. I can't think of anyone more deserving to know my secrets than you.
So here goes nothing.... While I have been Shreveport-Bossler's Sexy Funny, and Humble host for over thirteen years now, I must admit to you that I don't actually feel that way about myself. Crazy, I know, but it's kind of a funny phrase that I came up with when I was in high school. I said it a couple times on K945 and it just stuck. I actually don't think I'm sexy at all, I mean, look at me. I surely don't think I'm funny, that's why I tell my jokes on the radio, so I don't have to hear the thousands of listeners audibly boo'ing my Joke Run every afternoon. If there is one truth to my signature catchphrase, it's that I do try to be humble... I mean, after all, working as a radio DJ in your hometown for over 13 years is kind of a humbling experience. So there you have it, my deepest, darkest secret.
Since I'm so thrilled that you're still here, I've decided to give you my other life-altering secret. This is short and to-the-point, and it just might damage my reputation forever so please don't share this with secret anyone, and I mean ANYONE! The truth is, I don't actually believe that Barksdale Air Force Base literally owns and operates a device that can manipulate the weather around us. Sure, the Barksdale Bubble is fun and I've helped to make it the phenomenon it is today, but at the end of the day, I don't actually believe that device exists..... Or does it?
Now it's time to get back to business. I'm ready for this final leg of our 10,000 word journey. Partly because my Redbulls just arrived via DoorDash and also because I have to submit this article by midnight tonight. I'm basically saying that I'm kind of on a time crunch here, and if I don't submit this article full of 10,000 words that paint a beautiful picture from beginning to end by midnight, then all of my hard work to get to this point will be for nothing. No one will have the chance to read about my Ninja Turtle Sword, my Wild Planet Radio DJ Toy, and most importantly, the full and perfect article detailing how the K945 Spring Ca-Ching Cash Code Contest is the greatest contest in the history of contests and the world itself.
Oh, and by the way, we just hit the 6,000-word benchmark and I may or may not be ordering a bottle of champagne through DoorDash as we speak. This is cause for celebration. Earlier today, a man had an idea that was so stupid it just might work. An idea to literally write a novel-length article about the K945 Spring Ca-Ching Cash Code Contest, and have it submitted that very day. To give you an idea of just how much I'll write and you'll read when this thing is done, allow me to give you a handful of comparisons.
I'm not a reader myself, in fact, the last book I read in my life was in Elementary school at Walnut Hill where all of us had to read, "How to Eat Fried Worms", and if we didn't we would fail. I am in no way kidding or joking, the very last book I read in my life was only read because it was my ticket to getting into the 4th grade. That book is a classic, and it's known and loved by many. From cover-to-cover, "How to Eat Fried Worms" contains exactly 14,066 words. Basically, instead of writing a book for children that would have no doubt made me a multi-millionaire, I'm here in my apartment writing a 10,000 word article about the K945 Spring Ca-Ching Cash Code Contest. I'm doing it because this contest is just that important. Who needs to selfishly write books for kids and make millions when you can have fun while informing your loyal audience about the greatest contest of all time?
Believe it or not, the average novel contains around 80,000-100,000 words, so I'm not quite there yet. However, maybe I could win a Nobel Prize for my work here today. After all, Alice Monro won the same prize and she specialized in writing stories that floated around the 8,000 word mark.
Only 8,000 words, Alice? Man, the Nobel Prize sure has lowered it's standards. I'm going above and beyond Alice's word count, 2,000 more words to be exact, and at this point I might actually be disappointed if a Nobel Prize isn't delivered to my front doorstep by Friday.
Now earlier in this article, about 3,000 words ago, I wrote in great (and 100% truthful) detail about how I cam to love radio and the art of the radio contest at the very young age of six-years-old. However, that only tells half of my story, and only covers half of the reason I'm so damn inexcusably passionate about the K945 Spring Ca-Ching Cash Code Contest.
In order to properly seal this deal, I'm going to have to tell you about when my radio career with K945 began, and more importantly, my relationship with our audience began to blossom. The way I see it, I need to get you to understand that the K945 Spring Ca-Ching Cash Code Contest is the greatest contest you've ever experienced, and I imagine it will take me about 3,500 more words to accurately get that point across.
If you can, come back in time with me to the year of 2007. At that time, George W. Bush was our nations president, American Idol was the #1 show on TV, and "Irreplaceable" by Beyoncé was our nation's #1 song. More importantly than those three, little Jay Whatley was turning into a man, but was forgetting about his true calling life. His memory of the magical night on Christmas Eve where the world showed him what he was destined to become had faded. Instead of pursuing a career in radio, I was a 15-year-old that cared more about playing Grand Theft Auto and chatting with hot girls from my school on AOL Instant Messenger.
I was really good at one of those things, and terrible at the other. I'll let you guess which one I had struggles with.
I had just barely began to think about what life had for me outside of those Evangel Christian Academy walls. In my heart, I believed I was destined to become a professional baseball player. See, that's the problem with going to school at a place like Evangel. That school pumps out so many professional athletes that even a scrawny little 5'4 white kid who was as slow as molasses truly believed he would be baseball's next big thing. Don't worry though, I had a back-up plan incase the whole baseball thing didn't work out.
I was going to be a world-renowned rapper.
See, that's the problem with going to school at a place like Evangel. That school pumps out so many eventual Grammy-winning artists that even a scrawny little 5'4 white kid who couldn't write a rhyme to save his life truly believed he would become the next Lil Wayne.
Funny how life works, because it was actually rapping that brought me to my destiny. Rapping brought me to the K945 studio, where I have remained all these years. We'll get back to that in a minute.
I was a Sophomore in high school and began to get frustrated with how expensive items were at lunch. All of the food items looked so good to me. I went to public school for nine years before arriving at Evangel, so you can imagine my surprise when I saw what their lunch spread looked like. While at Walnut Hill, I had to pay the cool price of $1.25 to eat the lunch of the day. At Evangel, things were a whole 'nother level. Pizza Slices were $2 a slice, hamburgers and cheeseburgers were around $4 each, bags of chips were a buck, and that's not even counting the cost of the drink. I had managed to survive off a bag of chips and a water for lunch as a freshman, but as a sophomore, I just couldn't take it anymore.
I knew right then and there as I angrily chewed on a crunchy Cheeto that I needed a job. No, silly, my next stop wasn't to the doorstep of the K945 studio with a resume in-hand. Remember, at this point I hadn't thought about being an actual radio DJ in nearly ten years! No, instead, I went to the one store in Shreveport-Bossier I frequented enough already have a level of comfort within the store. That would be none-other than Brookshire's on Mansfield road. I had spent so many nights in that Brookshire's with my family through the years, I knew that place like the back of my hand. I was only 15 and had no employment history with Brookshire's yet I was in there enough to tell you where literally any grocery item could be found, what the pharmacy hours were, and what schedule Sally the cashier was working that week. I knew this place, and I knew it was my destiny to work there and have enough lunch money to eat like a king.
I know what you're asking yourself now... "So why is it that you're our city's sexy, funny, and humble host, and not our local Brookshires' sexy, funny, and humble grocery stocker?" I'm glad you asked, because I've been keeping these feelings pent up inside for a lot of years, never truly having an actual reason to vent and let them all out.
I applied to work for Brookshire's as a 15-year-old, and even got a hardship license to work in the state of Louisiana as a 15-year-old. I wanted this job bad. Every day I angrily went to Evangel and ate a bag of Cheetos and sipped a Styrofoam cup full of ice cold water from the water fountain, waiting patiently for my phone to ring. I ate those chips and I might have ate a few bites of Styrofoam too on those extra-hungry days, wondering every single day why in the world Brookshire's wouldn't call me back.
Months had passed and I finally had given up completely on my Brookshire's dream. Stocking those shelves every day after school was nothing more than a vivid daydream for me, and I had to come to terms with that. I also had to accept the fact that maybe I would wind up being a senior at Evangel eating crunchy Cheetos every day.
Then, something magical happened.
Before I tell you about the true origins of how I became a radio DJ at K945, you have to understand one thing; Every single thing you've read so far has been the absolute truth. I have not fabricated one single story, including my coveted Ninja Turtle Sword that could also blow bubbles. I haven't bent the truth yet over the last 7,420 words and I'm not about to start now.
After not getting an interview from Brookshire's, or even a single call back from management, just when I was finally ready to give up completely, my phone rang.
It was Shreveport radio legend Gary Freakin' McCoy.
To understand why this radio icon was calling me, this random sophomore at Evangel who couldn't even score a job at Brookshire's, you also have to know about how I spent my free time.
When I wasn't playing baseball, I was rapping. Silly in retrospect, I know, but at the same time, it got me to where I am today, so maybe it wasn't so silly after all. I wasn't an ordinary rapper, I was more like a Weird Al-type. At Evangel, the burgeoning rivalry with Calvary was just really picking up steam in 2007. Don't take this the wrong way, I love Calvary and have several lifelong friends who graduated from there and I've hosted countless events for them through the years, but prior to 2007, Calvary really wasn't much of a threat to Evangel. there was no real rivalry, yet, other than us both being Christian private schools. Things changed around 2007, though, when Calvary began to threaten Evangel's athletic dominance in the region. Evangel began to take Calvary more serious after their sudden-rise to high-level sports competitiveness, and the rivalry reached a fever pitch.
To help fuel that rapidly growing fire between the two schools, I decided I would write and release rap songs goofing on Calvary. Back in those days, everyone had Myspace. There was no Facebook. There was only Myspace and AIM. Myspace had a really cool feature (that I still hope will come to Facebook eventually), where you could set a specific song to play anytime someone visited your Myspace profile. Naturally, in the middle of a heated rivalry, I released my first rap song aiming at Calvary and pinned it to my Myspace profile. Like a raging fire, this song spread rapidly throughout both school's communities. I'm talking thousands and thousands of plays in a matter of days as the Evangel community rallied around it and the Calvary community listened to see what all the fuss was about. At that point, i saw it as a funny, lighthearted jab that would stay on my profile for a week or so then I would go back to Drake in a few days. Little did I know, Calvary had a plan of it's own.
Later that week, a student at Calvary released his own rap song about me and about Evangel. As you can imagine, it was downright terrible. Imagine a Eminem vs. Machine Gun Kelly rap battle but even more of a blowout, that's what this battle was after Calvary released their first song.
I was more motivated than ever to fire back, and I did so with a song that is still talked about to this day. I came back the next week with a song titled, "Where's Your Ring At", and I'm not kidding you, to this day I have friends and strangers bring this song up to me routinely byb reciting the painfully annoying chorus.
That was it. The battle was over. I stood victorious, yet still eating Cheetos and drinking water for lunch.
Then, out of absolutely no where, I received a call from the legend himself, Gary McCoy. By the way, just in case you were wondering, we're now at 8,000 words. Take that Nobel Prize winning short-story author Alice Monro!
At that time, in 2007, Gary McCoy was not only the face of Kiss Country 93.7, but he was also in charge of personnel for all six of our radio stations, K945 included. He called me because you don't become a radio icon by not having a finger on the pulse of your community at all times. My rap songs about Calvary had made such a huge impact throughout the community that news of my wicked rhymes finally made it to the eardrums of our city's most influential radio DJ. That's definitely what happened, I'm sure of it. I'm sure it had nothing to do with Gary McCoy's son also going to Evangel and actually being a really good friend of mine. No, it definitely had nothing to do with that.
That was the day my life changed forever. There's only three days that changed my life forever. The day Gary McCoy called me, and the days when my two daughters were born. Of course, my daughter's being born have nothing to do with why the K945 Spring Ca-Ching Cash Code Contest is the best radio contest of all time, so I'll spare you those details.
However, that call with Gary McCoy and the subsequent 13 and a half years that followed have everything to do with why I truly feel that the K945 Spring Ca-Ching Cash Code Contest is the best radio contest of all time and deserving of this 10,000 word article. I'll spend the next 1,750 words explaining just how that's possible.
On that first phone call with Gary McCoy, I was admittedly star-struck and probably sounded like a pre-pubescent teen that couldn't even grow a mustache yet. Maybe it was the star struck thing, or maybe it was because I actually was a pre-pubescent teen that couldn't even grow a mustache yet. He asked me if I was old enough to work and also if I had any interest working for his six radio stations. Without even calling my mom and lining up a ride to the studio, I said yes, and agreed to meet with him after school that very day. Luckily for me, the radio station is on the exact same road as Evangel. Man, talk about destiny, am I right?
So after school I walked over to the K945 studios and met with the radio icon himself, face-to-face with Gary McCoy. He told me that he got a kick out of my rap songs and wondered if I could find a way to work for him part-time. I cannot possibly put my excitement accurately into writing, I had never felt something like that before. All of those years later, seemingly randomly, I had somehow landed a job at my favorite radio station after getting turned down by freaking Brookshire's.
I started work immediately, and I had no idea what I was in for. At that time, after forgetting everything I learned about the radio business when I was just six years old broadcasting on my Wild Planet Radio DJ Toy, I had no idea what radio was all about. As a young employee at a radio station, I thought this business was about two things and two things only. Sounded cool on the radio and getting backstage passes.
I'll be honest with you, it took me a couple of years to fully understand just how wrong I was. Being a radio DJ has absolutely nothing to do with sounding cool on the radio and getting backstage passes, although I must admit, even now those things are kind of fun.
That's not what we do, though, and that's certainly not why we do what we do.
Over the last thirteen years, I've learned a lot about the radio industry. Over the past few years, I've learned a lot out creating content for a digital audience as well. I can list off the many people who helped me with understanding how to be a radio DJ the right way through the years. Of course there's Robert J Wright, David McCart aka Stifler, Erin Bristol, Erin McCarty, Troy Jones aka Stu, Barney Cannon, Greg Atoms, Dusty Hayes, DJ Digital, Tim Huck, Robby Atkins, DJ Fabor, and trust me, I could go on and on and on.
The single most important thing I've learned and will stick with me forever was taught to me by the man who originally called me 13 and a half years ago, the man Gary McCoy himself. Through the years, Gary has taught me too many things to possibly list. He taught me to know my worth, to always sell the sizzle and leave a little of the steak, to work with integrity and take responsibility, to know my audience, to always hit the post, to work hard until the job is done, and so much more.
However, there's one more that Gary taught me that I think about pretty much on a daily basis. He taught me how important it is to truly love and care for my listening audience. He taught me to meet them and get to know them, and most importantly, never fake it around them, because listeners can always tell when you're faking it.
For me, that means building and nurturing a real relationship with my listeners day in and day out, both on the air and online. That means asking them how their day is going when they call into the studio, not asking them what song they want to hear. That means stopping and shaking their hand and having a genuine, real conversation when we run into each other out and about in Shreveport-Bossier. That means celebrating their victories in life, and also being there to help in their time of need.
Being a radio DJ isn't about sounding cool on the radio or getting backstage passes, it's about having a genuine friendship with your audience. It's about caring for them and wanting the best for them. It's about getting to know them, and in turn, them getting to know you. That's a feeling that backstage passes cannot give you, that's a feeling that sounding cool cannot give you, and that's a feeling that no salary in the world can give you.
That's a magical feeling, that can only be found between a radio DJ and a listener.
You know what else is a magical feeling? Writing an article with a goal of 10,000 words and realizing you've now crossed the 9,000-word benchmark. Hey, I'm sorry to break up that sentimental moment we were having together but I think 9,000 words is kind of a big deal. Believe it or not, there were naysayers around the office that heard about my 10,000 word goal and didn't think I have what it takes to get the job done. To be fair, I don't blame them. This wordcount has never been achieved before within our company. It's basically climbing Mount Everest, and here we are, with the peak finally within sight.
Now, I'm not out of the woods yet. All of my Redbull intake over the last several hours can come back to haunt me in minute. The Redbull crashes are real, trust me, so all I need to do to survive the following 800 words is to keep my head down, keep my eyes open, and keep tying away.
The goal of this record-breaking 10,000-word article to make sure every single member of K945's listening audience and digital audience is aware of our K945 Spring Ca-Ching Cash Code Contest. If there's one thing that I've attempted to make clear over these last 9,257 words it's that nothing is more important to us than our audience. That's why I'm so thrilled to help roll-out this contest this week which gives you the chance to win some serious money. One thing really love about this contest is that it's not just one shot. It's not like a perfect bracket challenge where you have to get everything right in order to win a big prize, although contests like that are extremely fun as well. The K945 Spring Ca-Ching Cash Code Contest gives our listeners to chance to win up to $10,000 every single weekday. Now, I know what you're thinking... You're thinking to yourself, "Geeze, that's only five chances to win per week, what's so special about that??"
I'm so very happy that you asked that question, my dear reader.
That would be an appropriate reaction f you were only given five measly chances per week, but now you have to ask yourself another very important question. Do you think I would stay up for 10+ hours writing about my Ninja Turtle Sword, my Wild Planet Radio DJ Toy, my embarrassing lunches in high school, my failure with Brookshire's, my rap career, my mentors in the radio business, and my deepest and darkest secrets (which were revealed about 4,000 words ago) to highlight a contest that only gave you five chances to win each week? There's no way you believe that's the case, right? If so, go back to about 1,000 words ago where I wrote in great detail my love for my listeners and my digital audience.
No, no, no... For you all, I'm writing this 10,000 word article to tell you about the K945 Spring Ca-Ching Cash Code Contest which gives you the chance to win up to $10,000 every weekday, TEN TIMES A DAY!
Now, I've written nearly 10,000 words with several breaks for sanity over the past ten hours, so my multiplication ability might be diminished at the moment, but I believe that means you have 50 chances each and every week to win $10,000.
That doesn't sound right, maybe I am losing my mind? I mean, I know for sure that K945 is giving you a chance to win with the Spring Ca-Ching Cash Code Contest every weekday, with new cash codes being released every hour on the hour from 8:00 AM - 5:00 PM. Surely, my math is wrong though, because fifty opportunities to win that kind of money just seems insane! Almost as insane as writing a 10,000-word article that will no doubt be read in it's entirety only by my mom and my brother.
Let me check with someone who will know the truth, I mean we've gotten this far, I have to make absolutely sure the information I'm providing is 100% accurate, and fifty chances a week just seems a little good to be true. Luckily, he's right beside me.
In the meantime, I want you to activate your medial prefrontal cortex and the medial and lateral parietal cortex and begin thinking about what you'll do with that much money. I know, you did this earlier, but I want you to do it again because your next chance to win will be here before you know it. Think about the debt getting wiped away in a flash, think about taking the family to Disneyland, think about buying $10,000 worth of Powerball tickets. Hey, it's your money, you can buy whatever you want.
Alright, I'm back, and I checked with the guy who knows the exact figures on the K945 Spring Ca-Ching Cash Code Contest. He wasn't happy with my presence, mainly because it was me. I was staring myself in the mirror while you were daydreaming about all of that money. I told myself to snap out of it and that I'm going crazy after writing 10,0000 words into a word document. I confirmed with myself that it is true, the K945 Spring Ca-Ching Cash Code Contest does, in fact, give our listeners the chance to win $10,000 ten times a day, fifty times a week.
Do you know why the K945 Spring Ca-Ching Cash Code Contest is the best contest of all-time? Because you're the best audience a radio station and a radio DJ could ever ask for. You deserve a contest that gives you so many chances to win.
That, my friends, is K945's $10,000 contest in 10,000 words.