Hard to believe it's now been nearly a year since my infamous float on an inflatable duck In the Duck Pond.

This will easily go down as one of my worst decisions ever. For many reasons too, not just because I was stuck on a duck in the Duck Pond for hours with virtually no company. No, believe me, this was a truly horrible day.

It all started, like most things in my life do, with a silly conversation between co-workers. We thought it would be funny if someone spent a full Mardi Gras parade on an inflatable duck in the Duck Pond. Granted, the idea was much funnier when it was just an idea, and the end result wasn't nearly as funny, but I decided I should be the one to take this duck bullet.

So I spent a silly amount of money on a gigantic inflatable duck. I arrived at the Duck Pond very early, I'd say around 6-7 hours before the parade would begin. I had assumed people would be coming by all day, taking pictures, and throwing me drinks. Now, quite a few people did stop by, but I had no clue how secluded the Duck Pond is from the actual parade route. So for people to see me, they actually had to be looking for me already.

To make matters worse, a few hours into my float, I got so sick I almost called it quits right then and there. In hindsight, it's very likely that I contracted COVID-19 right there on that duck, in that disgusting pond. In a more likely scenario, I got sea-sick from floating on a duck that was constantly moving and swinging and sliding.

Then, there were the kids. Since the Duck Pond is conveniently located next to a park, I was surrounded by kids all freaking day. These kids were not nice, either. Many of them threw bread at me like I was an actual duck, and some of them took great joy in pulling on the rope my duck was attached to.

Very long story short, if you're planning on riding an inflatable duck at the Duck Pond for next year's Mardi Gras parades, DON'T DO IT. Trust me, it's not as fun as it sounds.



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