Top 10 Ridiculous Pollen Fighting Products Louisiana Needs Now

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Spring has sprung in Louisiana and along with the welcome warmer temperatures we also have to deal with an unwelcome guest... pollen!

If you're one of the folks in Louisiana plagued with seasonal allergies, I'm not telling you anything. Springtime allergies are the worst! It's like an inch-thick blanket of pollen is on EVERYTHING! It doesn't matter how often you wash your vehicle or clean off your patio furniture... this stuff is insidious!!! That's why we got to fantasizing about creating a pollen-fighting product that could actually save you from all of the sneezing, sniffing, and snot! And since we're both twisted and creative, these are the 10 pollen-fighting products we came up with. Now, someone just has to create them!

1. Pollen-Repellent Force Field Generator:
Hang with me on this one... it's like the Barskdale Bubble, but for pollen, and is big enough to cover the entire portions of the state.

2. Pollen-Neutralizing Chewing Gum:
Just think, if you suffer from allergies, chewing this fancy and great-tasting gum, available for mere pennies at your local Circle K, will instantly neutralize all of the pollen you come in contact with.

3. Pollen-Blocking Helmet:
Imagine rolling around in a helmet with a HEPA filter in it to block out all of those allergens. Pure bliss! You might even start a new fashion trend!

4. Pollen-Repelling Holographic Shield:
I know that holographs are kind of futuristic, but if you had an invisible holographic pollen shield wrapped around you, you'd want to wear it year-round so you can deflect other atmospheric anomalies like silent but deadly farts. You could also create stunning holograms to entertain your friends and family.

5. Pollen-Repellent Time Travel Capsule:
While this doesn't eliminate the pollen, it can jump you to another time when the pollen isn't so prevalent.

6. Pollen Invisibility Cloak:
When you wear this dashing and fashionable piece of clothing, the pollen simply won't be able to find you because you're invisible to it!

7. Pollen-Repelling Dream Catcher:
This special dream catcher works like an air purifier, but better. You hang it above your head at night and wake up to clear eyes and a dry nose.

8. Pollen-Blocking Virtual Reality Simulator:
While this device doesn't eliminate pollen, it'll make you feel like you're living in a world where it doesn't exist. It's a bit of a cruel trick, but it's better than the alternative.

9. Airboat Pollen Dispersal Unit:
Set up airboats like you see in the Louisiana swamps on blocks on the corner of each block, turn 'em on high and then the pollen will never be able to settle.

10. Tabasco-infused Nasal Spray:
Don't worry, it'll only hurt for a moment, and then your nasal passages will be completely clear of everything, including pollen!