Scientists Find A Cure For Body Odor, But It May Be Worse Than The Stink

I was getting ready for the Krewe of Centaur Mardi Gras parade this past weekend when I was hit with an awful smell.  It was like week old tacos rolled in gym socks soaked in bourbon. That smell emanated from an individual that I will not describe out of respect.  But, I think we have all encountered a person or two in our life that pushes the boundaries civility with their B.O.  There's a definite olfactory overload when you get within about 4-6 feet of these human dirty bombs.  I don't know about you, but in most cases - I chalk it up to bad personal hygiene.  Science says that may not be the case.

A small portion of the population have super-power level stank no matter how often they bathe.  Ultra-prescription strength deodorant has little to no effect on this weaponized person-musk, and sometimes even makes the situation worse.

Not to worry, science is here to save the day (and your nose).  However, after hearing the details about the "cure," you may opt to live out a hermit's life rather than endure it. But, you won't be alone - you'll have your cloud of personalized fragrance to keep you company.

According to the Memo, researchers at the University of California have discovered that in extreme cases of body odor the colony of bacteria that lives on your skin (totally normal I'm told) isn't really doing the work.  That's when you need a sweat transplant!  It's easy, just bathe yourself in someone else's sweat!  You really gotta slather it on though!  It has to be enough of the foreign bacteria to completely invade and take over as the dominant colony on your skin.  After that, your stink should become manageable. It's so simple!