I spend most of my time listening to music ... playing around on the internet ... and pondering why is it that the Lohan family is so popular. Why are they always in the news? Like the Bermuda Triangle, rubix cubes and un-hooking bras one handed. That's a riddle I'll never figure out.

Regardless Lohan's dad's reading comprehension was called into question by the honorable judge captain awesome pants  (ed note: I'm too lazy to go back and read his real name)

A furious Florida judge just ripped into Michael Lohan for violating Kate Major's restraining order against him -- by asking his attorney straight-up, "Does [Michael] know how to read?"

Lohan -- who's been locked up since being arrested for allegedly battering Major yesterday -- appeared before a Hillsborough County (Tampa) judge this morning.

During the hearing, the judge set Lohan's bond at $5,000 -- but ordered Lohan to stay behind bars until 6 PM.

Right on ... $5,000 bones. That's nothing. Pocket change out of Lindsay's drug... ehh party fund.