Open Letter To Random Opponent at All Star Lanes

I wanted to write an open letter to my unfortunate opponent at All Star Lanes.

Here's some background for you... I absolutely love bowling. My closest group of friends started bowling for fun back in high school, and we've been bowling routinely at All Star Lanes. We still bowl for fun, never bowling in leagues or tournaments, but we've all certainly learned how to roll 'em. After all, with a name like The Bowling Stones, we better be able to bring it.

We all believe that any given night, we could hang with anyone. Obviously, I'm not saying that I feel like I'm as good as anyone in a league, but you know I won't back down from a challenge and I didn't last week.

Here's my open letter to my random league opponent.

Hi random ALL Star Lanes opponent.

 

Jay Whatley here, but you can just call me daddy. I'm not writing this letter to rub it in, you know, that an amateur took you for all you've got at the lanes you call home.

 

I would never rub that in, despite your cockiness and trash talk. I don't blame you, I would be confident too, if I was going against a drunk amateur bowler wearing a fedora.

 

I don't blame you for accepting my challenge, and you seemed like I nice guy. I hate that I had to beat you 220-170. I know that must have been a hard pill to swallow, and out of respect, I should have taken it easy on you.

 

If this letter finds you, just know that you can find me at All Star Lanes every week, and I'll give you a rematch anytime you're ready for it.

 

I'll be the guy on lane one throwing strikes with a pink bowling bag, three pitchers of beer, a fedora, and comically large Bowling Stones trophy. See you there.

 

Sincerely,

Daddy Jay